Did you saw the movie??nice
My dear i realized that as much you want you 'll never have that brain..you think it' ll complete you. You!!!
suffer for so many complexes.I don't know if I speak right now with me....wich meens i tell all this to myself,or was a insight about you..a intuitive revelation.
Sometimes I realize my own potential, but often I don't ..and all my self- confidence is weak, but when I look around and I see all those PEOPLE who respect me, admire me, love me, recognize me and that makes me wonder..so probably they might be right!!!
THE WORST ENEMY...is ME.
Honey you said that you fall in love of ....your job,....THERE is something else about ? that you ever fall in love??
Did you realize something???when you are doing your job down there?Are you happy?? does it worth??
In the summer 14/08/2010 I had the chance to do my job for at least 12 hourse on and on,and inside that room, I realized that it isn't worth!!! I screamed inside.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, IS NOT FAIR!!! THIS IS NOT LIFE!!! and I start crying, this is a nightmare,ok this reality, but still Ican change things, I don't want to have such a ..life.
After this, so many questions arise in my head...couldn't sleep, couldn't eat,could't read, couldn't do anything couldn't listening any music,because there was so much noise inside my head...I stoped...many days I lied..in my bad...with my phones off, in my dark room, under my quilt.
I'm sorry that i scared people that realy carres about me, it wasn't my intention,.
It wasn't the firsth time when i've done my job for more then 12 hourse on and on, but there was something different, and that different thing...was you.
You Know ...I don't know what I want..I'm preaty scared..and many times I ask God's help:so help me God!!
There is any reason that make me want be alive, any!!!! Everything colaps all around me, I saw me alone....and fight for what????for who???? because all I can see is..no one, and all I can hear is that offal noise inside my head,and what should i do????...and what about my feelings???NO ONE CARRES down here!! and all this made me hate all of you, because you didn't carre about my feeling.
Everythings that you were able to say..is about the right things to do, the right things to tell, the right things to act, to speak, to feel!!!....the conclusion was...i'm not "RIGHT"...inside of child brain meens I'm bad!! I dissapointed everybody.
It realy hurts me when You told me that..... that you are dissapointed and I behave like a child...so you want to hear no more, and you'll gone hang up....
I could't stop blame be!!! I'm bad and I hurt people that I love, the reason that I don't recive any love is because that t don't deserv it!!! I'm bad girl!!! So all my suffering..was because of me, I do not have any reason to hate someone, because is was all my fault.
